Peanut Butter Cotton Candy

Never one to follow the crowd, you continue to insist, decades after your middle-school chums developed more refined palates, that a dollop of peanut butter is the perfect complement to literally any edible substance. Lobster Thermidor? Yup. Cotton Candy? Obviously. This makes you something of a pied piper with dogs—and wayward keto devotees, who are all too willing to listen when you say, “Ding-Dongs are fine as long as you put a bunch of Jif on ‘em.” You may or may not be compatible with people who have jelly-related flavor profiles, as you find them sweet but often codependent.