Galaxy Gumball

The 80s are alive and well in you. It’s not your knack for blowing bubbles that brush the top of your towering bangs, or your willingness to breakdance at literally any public gathering—including, once, traffic school. Nor is it your habit of berating the hosts of said gatherings when they fail to provide an adequate dancefloor—i.e., sheet of cardboard. No, in the end, it’s your commitment to your ideals. Case in point: Your 35-year letter-writing campaign to get New Coke back on the market hasn’t worked yet, but when friends tell you to give up, your response is always, “Beat it.”